Ignorance and Misconception of Homelessness

No matter what social or economic status one is, at some point, we all come face to face with poverty whether you are stepping over a homeless man sleeping on the sidewalk, or you see the cardboard sign wielded by a beggar reading "will work for food", or "please help". The fact is, you'd have to live under a rock to not notice the poverty epidemic that plagues America. Why, as the world's most powerful and wealthy nation, is this an on going problem?

I remember when I was young. Still finishing high school, but driving and working. I drove by a man holding a cardboard sign that read "hungry please help". Feeling quite independent and naive as all get out, I decided I wanted to help. I decided money was not the answer for this man, and took it one step further. I turned my car around and went back to the shopping center I just left. I marched my proud self into the deli and ordered a big turkey sandwich with all the fixings and a large soda. Proud as a peacock and feeling quite good about myself for my selfless deed, I pulled up to that man and presented him with a meal. After all, his sign DID say that he was hungry. Imagine my disbelief when he practically threw the food back and me and said, "I don't want food. I want money!". I was so shocked by what just transpired that I can't even remember how I reacted. I do know in the aftermath of this event I felt a bit embarrassed, almost as if I should have known he didn't want a sandwich. I felt betrayed by this complete stranger for lying to me. I felt anger that I went out of my way for this person and was thanked with hostility. I was angry more with myself however, because what seemed like a good deed was not done to help this man as much as it was to feel good about myself. I have struggled over the years with determining what deeds are selfless deeds, and what deeds are actually done to just make me feel better about myself. This incident colored my attitude toward the homeless and the sign wielders. It hardened me to 'those people', dismissing them as drug addicts or alcoholics that would rather feed their addictions than put in an honest days work. That is, until recently.

As I've gotten older, so have my children. Although my work as a mother continues, I have found myself with time on my hands with all the kiddo's off to school. Sure, I use that time wisely; I wash the clothes, change the sheets on all the beds, vacuum the floors, clean the toilets and showers, and on and on and on. As a matter of fact, with a large family of seven, I can pretty much keep myself busy with trivial tasks all day long. Of course, these tasks are interrupted by Facebooking, Internet shopping, going to the gym, and my secret addiction to Tetris. Is it any wonder I've been feeling unfulfilled? I decided I needed something in my life to give me a sense of contribution beyond my family. Don't get me wrong, I know I contribute to the economy with my shopping expeditions and I surely contribute to the oil companies with my very large vehicle driving five kids to their activities. But, I needed more. Notice the word "I". There it is......."I needed more". After struggling with that incredibly selfish word and coming to terms with the fact that it is all about me, I decided to volunteer my time. I jumped on the Internet and Googled "volunteering locally". One click and I was on a web page that had pages and pages of ads asking for volunteers. From non-profit organizations to walking dogs and visiting the elderly. There it was, right at my fingertips. What to do, what to do? I liked the idea of walking dogs. I could get some exercise and have some K-9 companions as well. Visiting the elderly wouldn't be so bad either. Then I came across an ad for a resource center that aids in helping those that are bordering on homelessness and those that are homeless get on their feet. Don't ask me why, but I responded to this ad. After years of not thinking twice about the homeless, here I was responding to this ad. To my surprise, I received an e-mail almost immediately stating they would love to have me come in and see what they do. This is where my story begins.

After some e-mail correspondence, it was decided I would come in the following day and have a look around to see if this is something I would truly be interested in doing. I started to get that familiar feeling of gratification, thinking to myself, "This will be good! Good for you, Shannon! You're really going to make a difference in this world!". I was imagining scenarios of my good works changing the lives of the homeless. The next day, I stripped off my wedding ring, my watch (that I wear more for looks than to tell time), my favorite necklace (that I refer to as 'my signature piece'), and my diamond stud earrings. I was careful to dress down in my sporty, but casual yoga pants and equally casual shirt. I didn't want to call attention to myself and I surely wouldn't want to run the risk of someone stealing my jewelry! I switched the contents of my Louis Vuitton bag to a more suitable backpack, jumped into my over sized SUV, entered the address into the GPS, and I was off. Here I go, off to make a difference, off to save the world! My GPS (nicknamed Tiffany by my husband) directed me toward the seedier part of town. This was no surprise, as I didn't expect to find a homeless resource center in the middle of downtown. As I ventured further out of familiar territory I was a bit taken aback by the amount of homeless walking on the street. I mean, not a handful, but these sidewalks were absolutely bustling with people toting their belongings in plastic bags. I turned into the parking lot and there before me was Tent City! I have seen this on the news! I couldn't believe it, but there it was right before my eyes.......the real Tent City. Adjacent was a Women's Shelter, Men's Shelter, Family Shelter, Mission Gospel, Saint Vincent's, and more. I just entered a whole world for the homeless that I had no idea existed. After driving around the parking lot mulitiple times looking for the safest place to park my car and internally thanking the presence of the two police officers walking the perimeter, I made my way to the Resource Center. I was graciously shown around and told the tasks that would be required of me. I was given a binder of paperwork to read over before I committed to volunteering and sent on my way.

Upon reading the information made available to me, I started to have second thoughts. The paperwork included information on what I am supposed to do in case of a 'hostile client'. It informed me that I am to keep a reasonable distance from the clients at the resource center. More specifically, don't make friends. Being friendly and being friends are two different things. Don't give them rides, don't employ them, don't give them money, don't take them home, etc., etc., etc. The binder was very thick and seemed to echo the preconceived notions I already had of the homeless. At the back section of the binder was outlined a ten year plan entitled "Housing For All". Whatever doubts I was having about volunteering were quickly squelched after reading this informative literature.

The Housing For All plan is a ten year plan that was implemented in 2006 and detailed current (at the time) statistics on those that are homeless, or bordering on homelessness. The economic environment in 2006 was far different than it is today. 2006 brought prosperity to many, whereas our economic climate in 2011 is suffering. One can only deduce that because of this, the homeless issue has only compounded as opposed to have improved. Upon reading this literature and feeling somewhat more educated in the matter, I felt inspired. I was struck by the different 'types' of homelessness that were outlined. Homelessness was defined by the chronically homeless. Those that have been homeless for years and show no true signs of getting out. There were those that are temorarily homeless, defined by those that use the shelters as an emergency basis. There are those that are in transitional housing provided by the state. I was also struck by the different 'type' of people that are categorized as homeless. There were mentally ill, substance abusers, families, teens, men and women. I was struck by the amount of services available to the homeless and the amount of agencies that provided them. My curiosity was peaked. My interest in volunteering shifted to wanting to have a greater understanding of "why?" with all the services offered, even before the ten year plan was implemented, do we still have a staggering problem. "Who?" exactly is the primary group of people that are chronically homeless. And "how?" do we as a community and government plan on implementing a program that is successful. I could read all the literature I wanted, but the true answers to these questions came from me seeing first hand. With this revelation and with a very ambitious attitude, I called the Resource Center and said I wanted to start right away.

The first day I changed into what I deemed my new work garb, threw my unwashed hair in a ponytail, grabbed my 'work backpack', dropped my kids off to school, and headed off to my new endeavor. I was introduced around to the staff and thanked for my efforts. It was explained that the Resource Center was operated purely on volunteers like myself with no paid positions. I was immediately curious as to what the other volunteers' stories were. What brought them here? I was learning from the other volunteers, mostly observing the tasks I would soon be performing. The clientele consisted of the "typical" homeless person. Somewhat unkempt, in need of a dentist, and wearing multiple layers of clothes. The other volunteers greeted them as they came in by name and engaged in small talk. I started to do the same and found myself enjoying it. This "typical" homeless person that I describe seem to have one of two things in common. The first I noticed was the obvious signs of lacking the average mental capacities. They repeated themselves often and showed signs of mental limitations. Many seemed to come in for the comradery of the volunteers and the other clients. They would sit and visit one another and sometimes use the phones or computers that are made available to them. One thing that struck me about these obvious people in need was overall, they seemed so happy. They were joking and laughing. If it weren't for the obvious physical signs of poverty you'd never know they were on such hard times. The second thing I noticed was the substance abusers. These people seem to share the same physical characteristics as those I just described but weren't so much lacking mentally. Some of the signs of drug abuse are more obvious than others, but it doesn't take too long to determine substance abuse. As my first day came to an end I started to realize that what I wear and my mere presence was not something these people cared too much about. I started to feel pretty arrogant.

My second day volunteering brought me a bit more responsibility as I became more and more apt with the tasks involved. Having the ability to answer questions and interact also provided me with more access to the clientele that uses the Resource Center. To my amazement the well dressed forty something man with the bright blue eyes and sparkling smile asking me for the food stamp application is a client! The woman that introduced herself to me as Michelle, that I took for a volunteer, was actually a client! The clean cut mother with her doting husband that pushed the stroller was there looking for emergency shelter. It was becoming obvious to me that the preconceived notion that the homeless are shabby, unkempt, mentally ill, or substance abusers is not always the case.

As the end of my first week approached I became more friendly with some of the volunteers and in a moment of quiet asked the young lady I have been working with all week how she came to volunteer. This well spoken, well groomed, and helpful twenty something, explained that she volunteer's because she lives in one of the shelters and it's her way of helping out. What?! I tried not to show my shock. I felt very small at the moment and stopped patting myself of the back for my good deeds. It was clear that this young lady before me represented a much larger part of the homelessness that is NOT obvious to the average person. I now know that out of the four people I work with directly, three are either staying in a shelter or tent city. I wasn't just working FOR the clientele, but working WITH the clientele.

I have been volunteering for a while now and a part of it IS about me and that's okay. I no longer go to work unshowered in a ponytail. That would be disrespectful. I may not go in flaunting my jewelry or my new handbag, but it has nothing to do with the fact that I think these items will be stolen. I respect these people and their circumstances and when I am at the Resource Center none of those material items matter. I am not as naive as I once was, but I am learning more everyday and I owe it to a community of people that don't hold judgement and despite their circumstances know how to take the positive out of life. I will still never hand a sandwich to a person holding a sign that says "hungry", but I WILL pull out a couple bucks. If it happens to go toward a wine fund or toward their next fix, there is nothing I can do about that. But, it is not my responsibility or my right to judge. Yes, it makes me feel good inside, but I know I am doing good and there would be something dead in me if it didn't make me feel good.

Getting back to the question I previously posed, "Why, as the world's most powerful and wealthy nation, is this an on going problem?". I have found there is no one answer to that. I know there are a variety of services from drug and alcohol rehabs, to emergency shelters, to transitional housing, to medical care, to soup kitchens, to food stamps, to mental health help that are all at the finger tips of those that need. I now know some people are down on their luck and they take advantage of these services and find their situation temporary. I know there are those that are too mentally ill and lack the understanding to take advantage of these resources. I know there are those that have addictions too strong to help themselves. I also know there is a large number of homeless that have learned to rely on each other for companionship, love, or a helping hand and this community of people have become their family. This last group I speak of would, no doubt, love a warm bed and a hot bath, but are they willing to sacrifice the only people that have shown them love? My guess is that answer is a resounding "No". A hot meal does not always replace the warmth of friendship, a love that they may have never known growing up and it can be powerful. This need for love and acceptance embodies the whole homeless community whether mentally ill, drug abusers, or those that are savvy enough to utilize the resources available to them to the fullest. This group of people is no different than the middle class or upper class in the bonds they develop and hold dear.

In the end, people are people, and we aren't so different. I am grateful for the opportunity to extend a helping hand and in turn feel as if I contribute to my community. I am grateful for the seemingly "good hand" I've been dealt in life and the ability to appreciate it.